Letters From The Six
by pursuitofirony
Summary: Summary: it's been six years since Rick Grimes disappeared to a land far away, but he's never forgotten his family. Everyday he writes a letter home, but doesn't send it, as he searches for a way out of his new found hell. Richonne. Written as short drabble diary entries.
1. Chapter 1

_1 month in_

Dear Michonne,

I woke up somewhere strange, far. I don't know where I am. My eyes are heavy, and I can't remember who you are anymore, but I know you exist. I'm just not sure who you are to me. I remember you being beautiful, and I'm not sure if you're real. I'm not sure if anything is. I just know that my dream of you last night felt more real than anything Jadis tells me, or the men that wear hazmat suits and never show their eyes. Who are you, Michonne? Why do I feel such love for you? Where are my memories of you? Why am I here? These are the questions that I ask everyday beyond fail, but no one answers me.

I'm in a room, Michonne. It's smaller than most jail cells, and I'm strapped to a bed with just a book and a bit of light. The doctors tell me that I'm an "A;" I don't know what that is. They took my memories from me and put them in a box somewhere, but somehow some of them remain in my dreams. _I don't know what's real anymore_. I dream of you, and you feel like someone I've known, someone I've loved. I can see your eyes, which are the deepest shade of brown, and I melt into them. In my dream last night, I touched your skin, which was so smooth and soft, that I nearly wept.

I smelt your scent: coconuts and a tinge of apples from our apple orchard. I saw your smile, which was brighter than the sun, and made my heart soar.

I fell in love with you, a stranger. I have to find you. I have to remember.

Rick Grimes.


	2. Chapter 2

_1 year in_

Dear Michonne,

It's been a year now, and I know who you are. I finally remembered after months of torture in the chamber that they take me to to extract my memories and test me for galactic battles and fighting. These people are monsters, and everyday, I try to figure out a way to escape and get back to you. When I wake up, I feel immense guilt, and I wish that I knew how to contact you. I don't know where I am, or where they've taken me, and whenever I question Jadis, she tells me that this place is what she's always wanted, but for me it's hell. Everyday that I wake up, I think about our baby girl - our Judith, and the life that we made in our room that fateful morning. I think about how you're doing this alone.

When I remembered you, the first thing I did was cry because I should've never forgotten you in the first place. I don't know what those people did to me, but for the first few months, my body felt heavy, like weights were sitting across my back and stomach. I was strapped to a bed, and behind a door that was nearly one foot thick. I walked around like the walkers, not knowing who I was, until one day I knew.

Once they let me out of the room that they call The Chamber, I started to formulate my plan for an escape. There was only one thing on my mind: y _ou_. How do I get back to you, Michonne? That's my only thought. Everyday. Without fail. I shouldn't be here, I should be with my family. And if I ever get to see you again, if I ever get to hear your voice again, if I ever get to touch you again, I promise to tell you how sorry I am for blowing up the bridge. When I did that, I didn't know that you were real. My mind was playing tricks on me like before when I lost myself. I thought that I was saving you all by sacrificing myself, and I never expected to live. All I want is my family. All I want is you all.

Yesterday, I had a breakthrough, Michonne. I met a man named Bill, and Bill is from America. He told me that we're somewhere far, maybe an island in the middle of the sea somewhere, but like me, he wants to escape. He said that an A is a special person, a rare person, and they make this community strong. He's only a B, though, and knows that the longer he stays here, the longer he'll be away from his family. You see, Michonne, Bill is just a baby. Not much older than Carl. He said that he was only ten when the outbreak began, and maybe I'm connected to him because he reminds me of Judith. Judith is gonna grow up like Bill, and like Bill, I won't be around to see her unless I try to get back to y'all.

There's rules here, which makes it harder. And even though I've scaled the perimeter, and earned privileges from the inside, I'm still trapped. I'm still tested on, and forced to fight. I'm still tortured, but no matter what, I know we'll meet again. The only thing that keeps my heart beating is you. Your heart, your words, your eyes, _you_. Just you. "Rick," your voice says in my dreams each night. "We don't die. Fight for me."

I promise, I will.

Rick Grimes.


	3. Chapter 3

_1 year, 6 months_

Dear Michonne,

You know I was thinking about my granddaddy the other night. I realized that I never told you what he did, or who he was. You see, my granddaddy worked in the Air Force as a helicopter pilot. He saw the worst kinds of things in that job, my nana had said when he'd refused to talk about it. My granddaddy was strong. His body toward over my own, as he was nearly six foot five. My strongest memory of him was his hair, which was white as snow and his eyes, which as grey as they were, always carried a sense of coldness. He was never warm, but he always told me things that I'd carry on to my children. I remember the most important advice he'd ever given me came after I'd gotten into a fist fight with my older brother Jeff on the farm. He'd pulled me to the side, looked me dead in the eyes, and said, "Rick, you ain't gonna want to fight your family when you can't find your family. This world, it ain't easy. The most important people to you won't even be related by blood, but they'll be in your heart. When you're searching for your purpose, when you grow into the young man I hope you'll be, that your daddy raised you to be, I hope you remember that, son." I always did.

I ain't ever tell you about him, did I? I didn't tell you about my mama Luanne or my daddy Richard Sr or my brother Jeffrey Alexander. You see, those people were my "blood" family. They moved all of us from Kentucky to King's County where I met Shane, my brother without blood. My family, they believed in strong, wholesome bonds and I always worried that I was too simple for someone like you. In my life, I'd only had one real girlfriend: Lori. I'd known her mama since I was a boy. She was just like Lori, as she just wanted someone to give her a nice life, and all I'd wanted was to provide her that.

With you? When I first saw you, I thought you must've been something I conjured up in my mind. I ain't ever been all that sane in the head since the apocalypse happened. Visions and hallucinations and voices wrack my mind each day, even now. Some of them seem so real that I don't know if it's really all in my head. I know that I'd see Lori, and she'd seem as real as any of y'all. But then, I stopped seeing her, and all I could see was _you_. I would try to come up with ways to talk to you, but my experience was limited. Everyday we were just fighting to survive, to make it to tomorrow. Once things settled down, all I wanted to do was make you happy. You became apart of my family. I saw how you made my Carl happy, and that made me happy. Somehow, someway, even when we thought Judith was gone, you made us happy.

And then I fell in love with you, slowly, and then all at once. I didn't realize it until my hands were on yours, my smile matching yours, my eyes twinkling. I miss you. Everyday. But each day, your love and my love for you guides me, centers me, pushes me. I can't stop fighting. I won't.

That's what lead Bill and I to figuring out how to take this place. Bill said the helicopters are our key out. There ain't enough fuel to make it far, but if we can get to the radios, then we can get in contact with someone. Bill and I decided to play along, but that's when I saw him - Heath. You remember Heath? He's here, but he won't talk to me. It's like he doesn't remember who I am. His once golden brown skin is now pale and sallow. He walks around without a voice or a sense of memory, but I know that seeing a familiar face means I'm not too far away.

Jadis left and frankly, I'm relieved she's gone. I ain't ever completely trust her, and I knew she just saved me to get a place here. My only focus is you and getting back to you and if she ever comes back or finds a way out, I'll use her like she used me.

And then I'll kill her.

Rick Grimes.


	4. Chapter 4

_2 years in_

Dear Michonne,

This is going to sound crazy to you, but I dreamt about a little boy last night. He looked like me, but also like you. I can't explain it, but I was drawn to him as if he were mine. This boy, he kept calling for me, kept asking me to follow him, kept telling me that I was his father. I couldn't believe it, or him. When I woke up, I thought long and hard about the boy with eye's just like yours, but who looked exactly like me. Did we succeed, Michonne? Did we make something together? I wish that I could be there to meet him, to take care of you during these long, hard months alone. It tears me apart each day, because that dream confirmed that I'm missing out on not just Judith's life, but his life as well.

It hits even harder when I see the children here, some walking around the hallways by themselves, while others cling to the only parent they've got left in this world. When I see their faces - full of fear - I think about the world that seems inaccessible to me now. It fuels my ever growing need to get out of this place, and to you, to them.

But, this place I've realized, is cruel and ugly. The leader is a woman named Pamela, and this place is where she harvests test subjects for her New World Order. Sometimes, she even brings spectators, who watch us as if we aren't even human. Yesterday, she asked me to fight a bigger man, but I refused to do it. "Not again," I'd told her, squaring my shoulders, and waiting for it. She looked me dead in the eyes, snapped, and a few men pulled me away. They "extracted information" from me until I fell asleep, and then placed me back in my cell.

Pamela also has a strange need for soldiers, and these soldiers fights those people she thinks are her "enemies." She's insistent, obsessed almost, with the thought of promoting me to a high position in her army. Every day, I'm asked to fight either man or walker. Most days, like yesterday, I refuse, but some days, I don't. Today, I fought because Pamela threatened to kill Bill in front of me, and even though I'm not supposed to care about anyone here, Bill reminds me of Carl. Of Judith. Of the boy I saw in my dreams. Bill is my only connection to you, and I can't lose anyone else again.

Rick Grimes

 _3 years in_

Dear Michonne,

Jadis came back today and told me that she'd managed to secure several helicopters, and that she wanted me to go with her to the "up, up, up" place. I'd refused because I couldn't trust her, and I'd already managed to gain Pamela's trust from within these walls. I was almost free to come back to you, and my family, but once again Jadis has come to ruin it for me. I lost it, and told her that she couldn't betray me again, but Jadis insisted that this was the only way we could go. Along with her was Heath, who explained that it was "time" to go, and also revealed our location. Currently, we were on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and that the helicopters were loaded with fuel that could at least get us to California. From there, we could radio for help, but there was a catch.

"You can't take Bill with us, he's not an A," said Heath. His eyes were shifty as he surveyed the room around us, as if suspicious of being caught.

Michonne, at this moment, I felt torn on what to do. I know that I thought of your wisdom, your brilliance, and your calm at this moment, because my desperation fought with my urge to protect those here. I looked to Jadis, and then to Bill, and solemnly nodded my head to them. Afterwards, I addressed Jadis directly and privately. "You have to know that when you deliver me to my family, I will kill you," I'd told her. Jadis recoiled as if I'd slapped her, but I had to do it, Michonne. She saved my life, but she's the reason that I'm away from you, and for that, she must pay. I'll also never forget the last time Jadis came to my cell nearly 6 months ago. At the time, she hadn't told me of her plans, but she'd given me food, saying that it was from Pamela. At first, I resisted the food, but afterwards, I ate it. Immediately, I grew groggy and listless, feeling as though I'd been drugged. I'd asked her what she'd put in my food, and she'd said that she was an informant of Pamela, and that the food was drugged so that they could finally get a sample of my blood and DNA as well as tissue from my brain. She'd said there were no hard feelings, but I'd already vowed to kill Jadis, this just cemented it.

In the present, Heath looked in between us, but didn't say anything as I pondered his plan. "We do this," I'd said, "but I'm in with Pamela. I will kill her and free these people first, or we don't have a deal." They'd both agreed, and I left to report to my new duties on the inside. Michonne, it took months of planning to go from a tested specimen to a lieutenant in Pamela's army, but everything I've had to do, I've done it for you. I've done the worst kinds of things just to survive, just to earn trust in order to escape, but the guilt eats at me at the person I've morphed into. Pamela's trusted soldiers are war dogs, which means we kill anyone that we're asked to kill, no questions asked. I've killed nearly thirty innocents for Pamela, and with each kill, I've earned more respect and a closer relationship with her. After kill number thirty, she moved me into the nicer homes in her community, and stopped experimenting on me. She mentioned that in her eyes, an A is the perfect human. "Perfect blood, perfect form, perfect brain," she'd explained. "Perfect subject to control."

With her closeness, I've learned the ins and outs of this community, and also gained the respect of many people underneath me. She has yet to show me where the helicopters are located, or the radios, but I've learned her schedule, her superiors, and formulated a plan of who to kill and when. In 6 months time - with the help of Heath and Jadis - I will kill Pamela and all of her officers, free the island, and use the helicopters to fly to California with Heath. I will kill Jadis, and I will meet our son. That, I promise you.

Rick Grimes


	5. Chapter 5

**Author Note: Hi, all! This story is less of a traditional narrative and more freeform because it's all based on letters from Rick's perspective. Rick is under extreme duress, so sometimes he may not see or observe certain things for this reason. I hope that helps. Thank you all for reading, and reviewing.**

 _3 years, 5 months, and 29 days in_

Dear Michonne,

Tomorrow is the day.

Today I woke up excited. I ain't been this excited since the first time I kissed you that night on the couch, because finally, I will make it back to you and my babies. Please know that everything is ready to go, and tomorrow will be the first day towards the rest of our lives.

Rick Grimes

* * *

 _3 years, 6 months in (the following day)_

Dear Michonne,

Today the plan was initiated, but something went terribly wrong. Every six months, Pamela makes a child sacrifice, because she believes that this place can only be run with a certain amount of people. She usually picks a sacrifice at random from either new recruits that are experimented on, or lesser members in our community, which are the Bs. Today, she picked Bill - my Bill, to kill, and she wanted me to do it. She said that would be the thing that made her completely trust me, but I can't do it. I won't kill Bill, even though killing Bill would save me from this hell that I'm living in. She said that the killing had to take place at dawn tomorrow, or else this place would fall apart, so I had to prepare. After that, she left as quickly as she'd arrived.

But, instead of completing the rest of my duties with my fellow soldiers, I asked to see Bill. It had been nearly eight months since I'd seen him, as he didn't live inside of the city like I did. I was nervous, Michonne, because out of all of the things I've done here, this would be the hardest. I've killed men, women, and one child - which still haunted me - but the thought of hurting Bill wounded me more than anything else. I questioned everything that I was doing, and if any of it was right. In my mind, today was the day we'd planned six months for, and it had to go smoothly, but now this would just make getting out of here harder. Once I arrived at Bill's cell, I saw him. He looked different than the last time I'd seen him. His hair was cut short, his skin was white as a sheet, and when he looked up at me, he didn't recognize me.

"Who are you?" He'd asked.

"I'm Rick Grimes, remember me?"

"No," said Bill, confused. There were wires attached to his head, and his eyes were jet black. He didn't know me anymore, but no matter what I still knew him.

I knew what I had to do, Michonne. It was now or never.

* * *

 _3 years, 6 months, and 1 day later_

Dear Michonne,

"We've gathered here to sacrifice the beloved B Bill Ramsey," Pamela began as the crowd cheered. Those words haunted me, as I pointed the barrel of my gun to Bill's temple. He stood in front of me; huddled, afraid, confused, as the crowd silenced itself. I looked around, and their faces suddenly morphed into fearful ones that they carefully hid from Pamela. I knew that it was finally time to enact my plan.

Last night, after I'd visited Bill's cell, I went to visit Heath and Jadis. They'd said that there was only one helicopter that was workable, and that we could be the only ones that left. I'd told them that Pamela asked me to kill Bill in order to escape, and neither cared so long as we got out of here. "I know you care about that kid, Rick," said Heath. "But Bill's dead whether you kill him or not." Those words had stuck with me, because even though they were true, that didn't stop me from feeling like I had to do something to save not only Bill, but these people. My humanity is the only thing that keeps me close to you, Michonne. I'm always thinking about what could be happening to you, and what I'm missing, and if I remember who I am, then you are never lost. I haven't given up on finding you, and I hope you'll never give up on finding me.

But, after that talk, we'd decided that the plan was simple. While Pamela and her soldiers were distracted planning the sacrifice of Bill, we'd move the helicopter close enough to the platform to make a run for it, and then once I gave the signal, we'd leave. Heath had found someone to rig explosives, which would trap Pamela and kill most of her soldiers. After that, someone would take command and for the most part, the people of the island would be freed, as the fences and walls that surround this community would be broken. It seemed like a good plan, we just had to do it.

"It's time," said Pamela. I pointed my gun, squeezed the trigger, and at the last moment, shot Pamela in between her brows. Shocked, the crowd turned into a mad frenzy, as I began to aim and shoot at surrounding explosives which trapped the other soldiers. Per Pamela's rules, only the soldier doing the sacrifice carries a gun, so they were all defenseless and weak. Meanwhile, Heath whistled, and I grabbed Bill and ran for it. We dodged explosives, people, and I ultimately shot many before arriving at the helicopter. Heath pulled Bill and placed him in the back, as I went into the front seat.

"Do you have any experience flying a helicopter?" Heath asked, and I just smiled thinking about my granddaddy.

"'Course I do," I said, pulling the lever and taking off.

Down below we saw chaos and destruction, but we kept flying, kept going, until eventually we made it far away from there.

Michonne, I'm coming home.

Rick Grimes.


	6. Chapter 6

_4 years in_

Dear Michonne,

It's been awhile since I've been able to put a pen to paper to tell you all the things that have been happening. When I left that place on the helicopter, I thought all my troubles would be over, but it turns out that my troubles were only just beginning. You see, we flew that helicopter for approximately 236 miles due West in the Pacific, but that's when all hell broke loose. I noticed that the helicopter was running out of fuel fast. At the speed that the fuel was depleting, we wouldn't make it, and at that point the only things around us or underneath us was water, so I had to remember what my grandfather said. His words were hazy, because as I averted my eyes around the small enclosed space, I saw Bill's bright eyes, I saw Heath's distrustful eyes, and I saw Jadis - the woman that I wanted dead. In their eyes I saw fear, and that fear was something that reflected in me. At that point, I knew that if this helicopter runs out of fuel, we'd plunge into the Pacific Ocean far from land. If we did that, our chances of survival were slim at best, dire at worst. I paused, took a deep breath, and asked you what to do. It sounds crazy, but you told me to remember. "Remember what your grandfather said. When the helicopter is about to die, take it lower in the sky; find the button on the left, lower the helicopter with barely anything left." And so, I did.

I turned the engine down, nearly off, and began to slowly lower the helicopter in the sky. We travelled like this safely for 100 more miles, nearly making it to an island, when fuel started to get extremely low. At this point, Heath said we had to figure out how to land, or we'd die. But all of a sudden the helicopter just dropped like a log into the water. We all nearly fell out. I thought it was over, until the helicopter started to float. All of us felt relieved, until we saw two ships surround us in the water.

"Put your hands up, and nobody has to die," said the voice.

Jadis stupidly ran and at that point, I saw the danger we were in. I knew that if she caused any trouble with these people, they may very well kill us all. I'd been looking for the perfect opportunity to off her, and I'd wanted to take pleasure in it, but it was now or never. I pulled my gun out of it's holster and shot her dead right there with no hesitation. This startled the crew, who simply stared at me with fear in their eyes, before and older man with tanned skin, and long, beaded hair appeared. He held his hands high, which caused the men on each ship to lower their weapons.

"You're a cold man," the man told me. He smirked. "Tell me, who are you and why should I help you when you've just shot one of your own?"

"I'm Rick Grimes, leader of Alexandria," I paused, thinking of my home - my family. "That woman was nothing but a nuisance who took me from my family. She was dead a long time ago. You should help me because I'm loyal. I'll do whatever it takes to protect the people that I love, and I'll kill whoever I have to if they stand in my way."

The man looked pleased with my answer. "I'll help you. I'll give you passage to California, because I - Red Herring - own these waters, but you must help me first."

"How would I help you?" I'd asked him, confused.

"You have three men, including yourself, and I need help securing a debt. You kill this _debt_ for me, and I'll escort you to California myself. I'll even give you a map and a radio."

I turned around to face Bill and Heath, but all they could do was nod. At that point, we had no choice but to accept the offer of the man who called himself Red Herring.

But that's when things got tricky. You see, the man that owed this "debt" to Red Herring was incredibly hard to track, but also deadly. He was a master of disguise, and even though we were provided with weapons, men, and a ship, it was still hard to find him. What also proved difficult was the dangerous crew members on board who constantly goaded us into fights or tried to kill us. They'd even captured Bill "for fun" and tried to torture him before I'd threatened to kill them all myself.

Then one day, just a few nights ago, we finally found the elusive "Roger." But capturing him proved difficult. It required waiting, learning, and testing until eventually we struck him at dawn. He put up less of a fight than anticipated, and we captured him alive. We took him to Red Herring, who seemed pleased, but also intrigued by me. He wanted me to become a full time member of his crew, but I'd refused.

"It's a shame, you're a great leader," Red Herring said, his long hair blowing in the wind. His usually stern disposition softening.

"Where are you from?" I asked him, he just reminded me of home. Of community.

"Polynesia," he shrugged. "Can't go back there now. Anyways, I'll take you to California. Here's a map and the radio I promised you. It doesn't work, but I guess you can figure that out."

I nodded because I could. It was something.

After that, Red Herring let Bill, Heath, and I on his ship, where we rode several hundred more miles. On the way there, we finally spoke. Heath talked about how they'd given him so many pills that he'd forgotten who he was. He didn't know how long he'd been with Pamela's group before I arrived. He spoke about his mother and younger brother, who'd been killed long before he'd found our group at Alexandria. Bill had finally recovered his memories a few months back. He'd said that Pamela fed him a drug cocktail that she promised would "make him forget," and it did. All he remembered was being told that A's and B's had different brains, and Pamela was trying to figure out a cure by making everyone her personal lab rats. I told them about Jadis saving me, but taking me away from my family. I told Bill about my daughter Judith and my wife Michonne. I'd planned to propose to you shortly after everything happened, but it never happened. Somehow, talking about it with others helped me cope.

Eventually, we made it to the Californian coast. The beaches were rugged and worn by now, but we made it. Once Red Herring let us off the boat, I tried the radio, but nobody answered. Instead, I decided, I just had to keep going.

Rick Grimes.


	7. Chapter 7

_Present time_

"Mom!" Judith called out, her young voice called out. "I heard something on the radio!"

Michonne, who was deep in her slumber, rose up as if she was a five thousand year old mummy trapped inside a tomb. Her limbs seemed to move beyond her own accord, and took her to her screaming, confused daughter. She hadn't tried contacting anyone on radio, not since everything had happened years ago that left her too fearful to venture out beyond the safety of Alexandria's wall. She didn't dare hope that _he_ was alive, but sometimes she'd hear his voice as clear as day, and she'd feel deep in her heart that he was alive.

 _No_ , she'd argue with herself. _He's not. You're fooling yourself_. She'd settle with, and then she'd go about her day as of she hadn't heard him, hadn't spoke to him, hadn't _known_ him.

She didn't know why she was unable to move on. It'd been over six years, and she'd faced unimaginable horrors in this new world. Most people only thought of Rick as a mythical God-like man who'd started this new world after the dreaded war with the Saviors, but to her, Rick was her husband, her best friend, and the father to her beautiful children.

She missed him everyday. She loved him the same. She wanted him to meet their baby R.J. who gave her mixed emotions whenever she saw his angelic face. He looked exactly like his father, which was both a blessing and a curse to her. Every time she'd look at him, she'd feel lucky, yet empty. She was terrified of his questions, his precocious eyes, his curiosity, and his thirst for adventure. He'd started asking more and more about his father, and she didn't know what to say. She felt guilty for not looking for him anymore, not having a straight answer, not -

" - _Mom_!" Judith screamed across the house, which shook Michonne out of her thoughts. She heard Judith's booted feet trudge harshly across the wooden floors, until she stood face to face with her. Her eyes were filled with tears, as she frustratedly threw the walkie talkie to the ground.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" Michonne asked, confused.

"That person was Daddy, and now he's gone!" Judith told her. "He said he's in Ohio, and he can't get home."

"That was Rick?" Michonne asked, her own tears filling her eyes as she dropped to her knees, and clutched the walkie talkie to her chest.

"He's gone forever now!" Judith screamed once more, still frustrated, before she ran off towards her bedroom. Michonne watched her, her guilt eating her up, but hope fluttered deep in her chest.

 _He's alive_.

 _5 and a half years in_

Dear Michonne,

I'm sorry.

I know these letters may never reach you, and everyday I feel guilty over it. I can tell you that I've been through a lot in the past year and a half, and none of it has been good. The world that we thought meant something, or could be like the world before is not anything like that. It's a world filled with selfish isolated groups only looking to enslave and torture. The innocents in this world are nothing more than collateral to that end goal.

When we got to California, we saw a world changed by years of walkers and lack of government. California was probably the most peaceful place out of everywhere else we travelled through, except for the currency laws. Bill had said that he suspected that his family was in Ohio, in a place called The Commonwealth. He said that it was a place as industrialized as New York City or Chicago, and that it was the safest place for us to head to. I decided to trust Bill, and Heath decided to trust the both of us.

Each day, I used to walkie to try and contact Alexandria, but nobody ever answered. I always hoped that one day, I'd get your voice, but...your voice never came.

In California we encountered the newly formed loose government, which was run by a gang known as the Aryan brotherhood. The leader of this group lead with the same violent tendencies as Negan, but with more death and destruction. He felt like we all owed him something for stepping onto his territory, and he had one rule for passing through: you must kill. I was okay with that. I'd already taken so many lives to get to this point, so I paid the toll, and we passed through with the gang's blessing.

That was the easy part, Michonne.

We passed through Nevada, and Utah, which were mostly filled with compounds and vacant land. It took us a few months to trek through Colorado's dangerous terrain and unpredictable weather, but we managed to get through it with most of our body intact. Kansas was when things got...tricky. In Kansas is there we encountered the people who killed Heath, and nearly killed me as well.

You see, Michonne, in Kansas we encountered a branch of The Highwaymen. They apparently had branches all across America, and heavily guarded the roads people travelled on. From us, they demanded payment to cross Kansas, and get into Missouri, but we didn't have anything except a couple bottles of water, and some canned food that we found on an abandoned compound in Utah. We were starving, near dead, and confused when they packed us up and shipped us to their headquarters two states away in Illinois. For some reason, they were interested in me, and thought Bill could be of use as labor. They shot Heath as a warning to us almost immediately.

I don't know how long it took us to get to Illinois, but I thought of you more than anything. I looked at the map that I'd scrawled out on a napkin, and knew that we were _so close_ to Ohio, but they'd confiscated my walkie, which made me miss my morning call to try and find you, and now we were going God knows where. These men seemed vicious and dangerous.

We arrived at their headquarters, and we're stripped, blindfolded, and allocated to a holding cell. I don't know if you want to hear what happened next, but they tortured us and branded us with scars. They made us serve them until our debt on the roads were paid, and then they auctioned us off to others in their community to serve them as cleaners to their households or footstools to the rich. Eventually, one day, they said that only one of us could go free. Bill begged me to go, saying that I had to go to my family, and I didn't want to leave him behind. He told me that he'd have to stay, it was the only way, so I told him I'd go.

Leaving Bill was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I knew that you wanted me back, so I left him with those horrible people. My back was forever marked, and the torture left me changed, but I headed once again for Ohio. It took awhile, because I only travelled at night, fearful that they'd capture me again. Finally, I arrived in Ohio, and encountered a woman named Stephanie, who told me she knew of this Commonwealth group. She was strange looking, with wild pink hair, and odd plaid clothing, but she took me to their leader Georgie.

Georgie seems okay. She promised me shelter and food, so long as I provided in some way to the community. The community was thriving in ways we could've only imagined, Michonne. It was like the old world. There were even a few skyscrapers being built for modern buildings and amenities. I told Georgie about myself, where I'm from, and who I know. She said that she was trying to get Maggie to join her, and I asked if I could travel there. She said that I had to earn her trust first before I could leave the walls of her community, and I knew that it's what I had to do.

At The Commonwealth, they had a missing persons board. I put my picture on it, as well as my diary hoping that you'd be able to come, or one day read my entries. After that, I tried to contact you on the radio. You didn't answer.

 _Present_

"You said he's in Ohio?" Michonne questioned Judith sometime later.

She was midway through packing a bag, as she clutched the walkie in her hand still. She didn't care about anything else except bringing Rick back to his family, and seeing him again. She didn't even care if it was a false lead. It was a lead, the first _real_ lead in years, and nothing would stop her from following it.

Judith just nodded, less angry than before. "It was Daddy's voice. He said 'hello, Alexandria, I'm looking for Michonne. I'm in Ohio at a place called The Commonwealth. Georgie has me. Bring music to trade'."

Michonne felt her heart lurch, drop, and expand all at once. She almost didn't want to get her hopes up, but she had no choice. She had to see him again. She _had to._

"So, when are we going?" Judith asked.

Michonne wasn't sure if she should take Judith, because the trip was so uncertain. She didn't know who would lead Alexandria in her absence. She didn't know anything, or even how to proceed with this new information. For so long, she's convinced herself that Rick is dead and gone, and that she just had to move on. But, he was alive. He was _alive_.

"We're going to go find your dad," Michonne said, smiling for real for the first time in years.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author Note: This is the last chapter of this little story. I always wanted to finish this before 9x14 'Scars' aired, but other stuff came up. I don't watch the show anymore, but felt compelled to imagine how Richonne would meet again. I wasn't really comfortable at first with the short-form writing but felt it worked best for this particular story. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you to whoever took the time to review, and whoever took the time to read. Thank you!**

 _Present_

Michonne stood in front of her council members as her body shook with nerves. She didn't know how to break it to them that she was leaving without sounding crazy or manic. How do you tell people that you heard your dead husband over the radio, and now you were going to travel hundreds of miles to a mysterious community to try and find him? Most people would think that you were absolutely insane, but it'd been years since Michonne felt this happy.

She couldn't help the giddy smile that broke out across her face as she thought about Rick being alive. She hoped that they could just pick up where they left off, because to her, it felt like only yesterday that his lips were hot on her own. It felt like only yesterday that his arms were around her. It felt like only yesterday that his voice echoed throughout their home. To her, it _was_ yesterday because she'd never really stopped loving him. She'd only put her love on pause in fear of getting too happy again, but now it all came tumbling out.

"Pardon me for asking, but why are you smiling like that, Michonne?" Aaron asked, effectively ending her daydreaming stupor.

Michonne grinned once more, her eyes alight. "I actually have something to tell you all. It's...it's important."

She walked towards the front of the room, taking deep, labored breaths as she steadied herself in the middle of the room. She turned her back to them, not sure if she wanted them to see the vulnerability sketched onto her face.

"Rick is alive," Michonne explained. "He sent my daughter a message over the radio, and I'm going to find him as soon as possible."

"What do you mean?" Asked Father Gabriel, who stood taller, but his eyes seemed hopeful. He'd missed Rick, and felt guilty for not informing the others about Jadis' intentions. When they'd vanished together not long after his disappearance, apart of him wondered, but Michonne wasn't going to hear that.

"I mean, he's alive," Michonne explained. "He said he's in a community called The Commonwealth in Ohio and I'm only telling you all so that you know that I'm leaving."

"But what if it's a trap?" Asked Siddiq. "It could be dangerous."

"So what am I supposed to do, Siddiq? I've been waiting for 6 years. Do you know what that's like? I was pregnant by myself. I raised our daughter and son by myself. I went through…," Michonne trailed off, shaking at the traumatic memory of _who_ she'd had to kill, and _what_ she'd had to do to survive. " _that_ by myself. If I want to go, it's _my_ right, and nobody is stopping me."

Siddiq nodded, not saying anything more. He hadn't known the extent of what had happened to her all those years ago, only Daryl did, and he didn't exactly speak much on it, or to anyone else.

The council members sat down, not knowing what to say to convince Michonne. All these years, she'd been the one to tell them not to attempt anything dangerous, not to trust outsiders, but here she was doing just that. Father Gabriel sighed, knowing that he had to come clean about what he'd heard Anne say on the walkie all those years ago. It ate him up inside to keep it a secret, but he didn't really know that it was a secret. He'd loved Anne, but she just wanted to use him.

"Michonne," he began. "I think that I may have proof that Rick is alive and who may have taken him."

Michonne averted her eyes to the priest, looking at him with something in between suspicion and relief. "What information do you have, Gabriel?"

Father Gabriel nervously stepped forward, eying his fellow members of the council. "Anne and I had a relationship years ago, and she was in contact with some people with helicopters. She tried to give me to them, but I wasn't good enough. This was - this was shortly before Rick vanished. I didn't think it was related, but…now I'm not so sure."

"And you sat on this information all this time?" Michonne asked, her voice almost too calm. She walked toward, eyes as hard as polished steel. "After _everything that's_ happened?"

"I didn't think -"

" - That's right, you didn't think," Michonne snapped. "There will be no vote on this matter, I'm leaving. Aaron, until I come back you're head of security and leader of the council. We're done here."

Without as much of a word, Michonne left. She was done with holding this community on her back, she was done with people keeping pertinent information from her, and she was absolutely done being nice. Earlier, she'd found herself reading Shakespeare's King Henry the Fourth play, which was one that she'd adored in her college American Literature class. She'd been thinking of ways to introduce the teenagers to advanced literature but had found a quote that related to her life now. "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown," King Henry had said. She felt that way all the time these days, and she knew that it was time to do something about it.

With resolve in her heart, she headed towards her home in Alexandria. She felt her heart grow in size, each step bringing her closer to the home that she'd once shared with her husband. She wasn't sure what had happened to him after all of these years apart and wasn't sure what he'd think of her after all of these months apart. Questions filled her mind, questions of who had taken him, and why. Questions of 'would he think differently of the person I've become?' Emotions that she hadn't felt in years came crashing to the surface like a Tsunami after a hurricane.

When she got inside of her home, her feet suddenly moved faster, and faster. She found herself staring at Rick's Colt Python which sat in a box labeled "Judith." Her shaky hands grabbed the gun and kissed it. ' _It's time to bring you home_ ,' she thought. ' _It's time for me to be home again_.'

"Judith!" Michone called out, sliding the Colt into her holster. She dashed up the stairs, and towards her bedroom where Rick's shirts and other belongings still lay mostly untouched in her dresser. She could still smell him on them if she thought hard enough about his body, his face, his scent, _him_. Just him. She placed the clothes into a bag on the side of her bed, and then put the bag on her back. "R.J.! Judith!"

With everything packed, her resolve to leave heightened, but there was something in her that felt - immense fear. Ever since Jocelyn - ever since _that_ happened, her heart was filled with so much fear. All the time. She was scared that this was all another trap that she couldn't trust, she was scared that if she brought Judith, they'd take her for real this time, she was scared that - she was scared of _everything_. On the outside, she appeared strong; she stood steady as the Egyptian pyramids, never falling and standing the test of time, but on the inside, she crumbled like sand on the shore.

She wanted to take her children with her, but she couldn't take that risk again.

"Yes, mommy," R.J. answered as he appeared first before her. His almond eyes and curls were the perfect combination of her and his father, and she knew that R.J. wanted to know him. She knew that, but - "You sound sad, mommy. Are you okay?"

"C'mere," she called out to him, holding her arms open for his tiny body to fill them. "You know mommy would do anything for you, right?"

"Yes, I know. You're the strongest person in the world!" He said, a smile spreading across his lovely face. He had the same smile as Rick, and that hurt her all the time.

"Mommy has to go away to do something very important for you and your sister," Michonne explained, softly stroking her son's hair. "I need you to stay with Aaron and Gracie."

"But mommy, if it's important, why can't we come?"

"Yeah, mom, why can't we come?" Judith asked she'd finally made her way to the room where she and R.J. sat.

"I just - I just want to make sure that it's safe," Michonne breathed out, her heart was hammering so fast now, and she felt faint. "I don't want them to hurt you."

"But mom, they won't," Judith insisted.

Michonne sighed, Judith was so stubborn. "I can't take that risk again," Michonne continued. "The last time I trusted someone, you almost died, and your brother was almost cut out of my stomach by someone I considered family. When I tell you to stay here, I mean it, Judith."

"But my dad -"

" - Your dad would want you safe," Michonne cut her off. "You are staying with Aaron and Gracie, and that is final."

Judith huffed, and rolled her eyes, but relented. She knew her mother was right. "Fine, but if you take too long, I'm gonna get Uncle Daryl and come after you."

Once again, Michonne sighed. "Okay."

:

Michonne had her first lead: Ohio. She had her second lead: the radio. So, she got a map and headed out after a lengthy discussion with Aaron about how to handle everything in her absence. She tried the radio several more times, setting it to the frequency of Judith's walkie talkie, but came up with just static. After a while, she gave up, until she heard the sound of a voice that she hadn't heard in years.

 _Rick_.

" _Michonne!" the voice called out, barely audible with the static. "Michonne. Alexandria. This is a message from Rick Grimes. I've been missing for over six years now, I think. I'm alive. If you're listening to this, then head west, then north. Georgie is this place's leader. They are a big community in Ohio called the Commonwealth_ -"

Michonne didn't know how to feel at the sound of his voice. She felt pure elation, she felt hope, she felt...fear. She didn't want this to just be another trap.

"Rick! It's me! Michonne! Can you hear me?"

Nothing.

"Rick?"

Nothing.

"Rick, please answer?"

Nothing. He was gone again.

:

It took several days of traveling, but Michonne finally arrived in Ohio. She didn't know where to start looking for Rick, so she just followed her instincts and her heart. It sounded silly, but she could feel when Rick was close to her, so she just decided to go with it. She didn't need a compass, a map, or a guide with that sort of knowledge. When the sun set, she decided that she'd set up camp, and head out again in the morning, when a ruffle in the bushes caught her off guard.

"Who's there?" She asked, pulling out her katana.

Nobody answered, but she didn't relent.

"If you don't come out, I'll come to you," she said, moving closer.

A few moments of silence later, and a strange looking woman appeared. She had olive skin, deep brown eyes, multi-colored hair, and plaid that looked straight out of a hipster catalog. Michonne had never seen anyone quite like her, before or after the apocalypse, and she definitely didn't trust someone who looked _that_ crazy.

"Who are you?" Michonne questioned the woman, still holding her weapon.

The woman chuckled. "Jeez, would you chill with the weapon?"

"I'll chill when you tell me why you were following me for half a mile in the bushes," Michonne fired back.

" _Oh_ , you're a feisty one. I like em' feisty," the woman teased, then winked. Unamused, Michonne simply stared at her. "I'm Stephanie, and I'm just following you because we don't see many people around these days. I come from a community about 5 miles west of here, and you'd be a great addition. Georgie is always looking for new -"

" - Did you say Georgie?"

Michonne's entire body tensed. This couldn't be real.

"Yeah, Georgie runs the place. She's really cool, loves music," the woman shrugged.

"I know her," Michonne offered, her weapon still trained at the woman's face. "She came to a friend of mine's community. Her name's Maggie Greene."

"Oh, I know Maggie," the woman said. "Georgie has her setting up a nice little community near the Bahamas, or at least I think it was the Bahamas…"

The woman trailed off, which annoyed Michonne. She needed to know if they had Rick. "Do you know a Rick Grimes?"

"Rick?" the woman's eyes lit up a bit. "Do I know him? He's the best fighter in The Commonwealth. I scouted him out here about a year ago. He's trying to prove himself to Georgie so that she'll let him scout like me, but Georgie is pretty strict about who gets in and out of the main community, so…"

"Is he - is he okay?" Michonne asked, her voice cracking. She nearly dropped her sword.

"He's okay," the woman offered. "I'm Stephanie, by the way."

"Michonne," Michonne replied. "I'm Michonne Grimes."

"Well, Michonne Grimes," Stephanie said. "Welcome to The Commonwealth."

:

When Michonne arrived at the gates of The Commonwealth, she didn't know what would await her. Tons of scenarios crossed her mind, all of them ending with her death or the death of Rick. She wanted to believe Stephanie but after Jocelyn and the finally won Whisperer War, she had her reservations. She had pretty much determined that she couldn't and shouldn't trust anyone, because nobody was worth trusting. Not in this world. Not ever.

So when the gates of The Commonwealth opened, she wasn't prepared for what she saw. There were skyscrapers in the process of being built, modernized vehicles parked, families riding their bikes, electricity running through wires and not solar panels; it was like stepping into the future. Michonne didn't know how to react, and so, she didn't. She tried to remain as stoic as possible, fearful that if she allowed herself to feel _anything_ , her mask would crumble, and she wouldn't be able to put it back up.

"Everyone reacts like that at first," said Stephanie with a shrug. "You get used to it."

" _How_?" Michonne asked in wonderment.

"The key to the future," Stephanie responded.

Stephanie took Michonne on a tour of the community, which must've been bigger than New York City, Los Angeles, and Chicago only thing that separated the community from the outside world was the nearly 200-feet wall that surrounded it, but other than that, it was the closest that she'd seen to the "old world." Stephanie showed her the church, the community's schools (two elementary schools, a middle school, a high school, and a University), Georgie's Walmart, and the lost and found.

"This is where we gather the belongings of people who come here searching for their families," Stephanie explained. "People leave pictures, diaries, notes, all sorts of things. Maybe you could leave something too."

"I don't know…," Michonne trailed off, walking around the giant display.

She saw various pictures of the missing. She saw children, teenagers, grown adult's pictures all stacked in rows on the bulletin board. She saw weapons, rings, bracelets, and even clothing that belonged to the nameless faces on the board. It was only when a beaten up journal fell off the table that she realized that Rick's face was on the board too.

He was _here_. He was alive.

She reached for the fallen journal, and read the scrawled writing on the top.

 _ **Dear Michonne, if you're reading this, I'm sorry.**_

Michonne's eyes widened, as tears pooled in her eyes. She averted her eyes to Stephanie, who was looking away to give Michonne privacy. That's when she heard _him_ , but she still didn't believe that he was real. She didn't want to turn around and be faced with such a vivid hallucination, as his deep, throaty rasp was unmistakable.

"Stephanie," he greeted the woman. "I know Georgie ain't one hundred percent on my side, but I think she's gonna let me scout with you next -"

Michonne finally braced herself and turned around. "Rick?"

Rick's eyes widened, as his light eyes glistened with tears. "Michonne?"

"It's me," she said, barely finding her voice. She couldn't speak, she couldn't move. She was afraid that this would end. "I found you."

"I never stopped trying to get to you," Rick assured her. He stepped closer, hesitant to touch her, hesitant to break the moment. "I never stopped."

"There's so much that you need to know," Michonne whispered, wrapping her arms around him for the first time in six years. They held each other so tight that someone would probably have to cut them apart with the jaws of life. She breathed in his scent, she took him in. And, even after all these years, nothing changed. Her heart still loved him the same, her body still responded to him the same. It was effortless. "We have a son. He's named after you. I - I want you to meet our baby…"

"I will," he promised her. "I will."

"Don't ever leave me again," she mumbled quietly into his ear.

"Never."

:

Later on that night, Michonne flipped through the pages of Rick's journal, reading every entry. She decided that she'd write her own story to him, too.


End file.
